WILLING AND ABLE.
You sit in the café and wait for Joey although you know that he’ll not come or at least you think he won’t come and you’ll be surprised if he does turn up after what he said the previous night and all that yakking he did and coming over quite rude and self centred it being all about him and what he wanted and how he found it difficult making allowances for the female side of human beings all that softness and illogicality and still after all the words and rudeness wanting to fuck you and have his way with you as if nothing he’d said had any bearings on the matter or had not affected you in the slightest degree and in that he was just like your father used to be when you were a child and when you were growing up always expecting you to tow the line always expecting your mother to bow and scrape and make do with things and not complain and if she did which was a rare occurrence he’d give her the back of his hand sending across the room with a thick lip or blackened eye and sipping the coffee now it being quite bitter not sweet like the other girl in the café makes it you remember the time your father came home from work in a sour mood his face dark and his eyes like those of a shark and grabbing you as you went by him by the arm and said I hope you’ve not been flirting with those boys I saw outside the school as the other young tarts were doing I’ll not have you lowering yourself to the likes of them with their short skirts and open blouses showing off their tits and giving the boys the eyeful and you said no as if I would I’m not like those other girls although you were but you’d not tell him that unless you wanted your ass whacked or your face slapped and he looked at you with his shark eyes and said you’d better not Coco because if I ever did find you with the likes of them you know what to expect and you did and as you sip the coffee now disliking the bitter taste and wishing the other girl had made it because you like your coffee sweet and not bitter and how one girl can make it just right and the other not you have no idea you recall the first boy who kissed and fucked you the one with spots and a scar on his cheek and how he said all girls have got to start somewhere and at sometime and that even some nuns have had it away before they took the cloth although you didn’t believe him and couldn’t imagine Sister Agnes ever having it away in her youth or at any time at all or of any of the nuns at the school and you remember fearing as you and he were having sex in your small bed in your bedroom that your parents would come home early from the film show and find you and how your father would knock the boy to kingdom come and beat your ass black and blue and mother would just stand there with her mouth open fingering her rosary and muttering her hails marys but they didn’t come back early and the boy had long gone by the time they came home even if his semen still seeped down your thighs as you welcomed them with smiles and lies and draining the cup of its coffee and knowing that Joey wasn’t going to come but still wanting to give him time you order another coffee and this time the other girl makes it and you watch her hands as she does it and fall in love with the hands that make the sweet coffee wondering if the girl who makes the sweet coffee is as sweet as the coffee she makes and as she turns and looks at you and smiles and brings the coffee and places it down on the table you hope that Joey doesn’t turn up so you can have another sweet coffee and dream of having sex with the girl if she’s willing and able.
