Hospital Visit | By: Roderick Young | | Category: Short Story - Funny Bookmark and Share

Hospital Visit

(By the way, I'm a guy.)

When I was 16 or so, I had an unusual attack of coughing over several days. It was so bad, the inside of my throat leaked a little, and air collected under the skin of my neck. It didn't hurt or anything, but the doctor sent me to the hospital for overnight observation.

At the hospital, I changed out of my regular clothes into the hospital shirt that was provided, and got into bed. I was given some kind of powerful cough supressent, which worked really well.

I never really got to fully rest, because every 2 hours, someone came by to check my temperature, blood pressure, and breathing. It was all pretty boring, until the night shift, when a candy-striper started making her rounds. She was about my age, and EXTREMELY cute. Under her red-and-white frock, she had a white nurse's minidress on, with a lace-up neckline. It was deadly. This was the fantasy that B-movies were based on. I LIVED for her next visit to check my signs. Remember, I was 16 - ANY touch from a girl was exciting. She got off at about midnight, and someone else took over.

The following morning, the doctor decided that I was fine. The cute candy-striper was sent to help me out of bed.

"Okay, you can get out of bed, now," she said.

I hesitated, thinking to myself, "This shirt doesn't cover my bottom half. . . well, she looks like a girl, but she's really a Medical Professional, and this is probably standard practice. I'm not going to make a scene." As casually as I could, I pulled the sheet aside so I could swivel out of bed.

"OH MY GOD!!!" she screamed, "DON'T YOU HAVE ANY PANTS ON??!!"

Suddenly, this "Medical Professional" could have been any girl in my class.

"Well, they never gave me any pants when I came in..." I tried to explain, hastily pulling the sheet back over myself.

She averted her eyes, and shielded her face with one hand as she left the room. It was TERRIBLE!

Another nurse came in with some hospital shorts for me to wear. All the way through the time of my discharge, I never did see the candy-striper, again.

(permission to copy granted)
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