My Girl Anna Conda
She is long, lean and very much into exercise
In body building contests, she always takes top prize
Now she is training for a Triathalon
Her mother coaches her from her car eating Bon Bons
She tells her it takes self discipline to succeed
As she is rolling up a joint from her dime bag of weed
She says you can accomplish anything you wanna
She is close to being my girl, my very own Anna Conda
I am usually sitting at her house watching her pet Gerbil
She runs my life, when she's not there, I really get verbal
I tell her Gerbil, Gertrude if you don't like it, then get out
I feel brave with Gertrude, so I really get loud
This has me thinking do I love her or her dominant ways
Sometimes I don't see her for days
So I call her sister for some support, her name is Rhonda
She tells me we better not talk, I don't wanna feel the wraith of Anna Conda
I tell her I am not afraid of her
Besides, she is busy at Shoney's Buffet feeding her mother
So Rhonda and I get together for some sneaky fun
I threaten Gertrude, you better not tell her what we've done
I am true American, I can't tolerate Commie Hoes like Jane Fonda
When will I be loved by Anna Conda
The phone rings, I am disappointed, it's only a bill collector
I didn't understand a word, but I did catch his name, he goes by Hector
So another a person who speaks English, tells me she is 3 months behind on her Honda
I tell the person, I dare you to come and get it, that's a direct quote from Anna Conda
Three days later the car is gone
She kicked my butt from Dusk til Dawn
Now I have a new love, her name is Vonda
The nightmares are still there, the virtual hauntings from Anna Conda
