I Pick My Nose
Inside my nose lies my kind of treasure
Each dig brings no gold, but a lot of pleasure
Most times it's the right nostril that's clogged
With the left side, when I blow out, I can whistle for the dog
My girl and I used to be very close
Until she caught me picking my nose with a pair of her panty hose
When I pull out chunks of green and a lot of slime
I feel like I committed the perfect crime
Everyone is cautious with the ice, I grab it with my bare hands
They all gag, not one of them undersatnds
It's compulsion, something I have to do
So don't get grossed out when I do it in front of you
There are time at home that I use a vaccuum cleaner hose
No matter where I am, private or public I still pick my nose
On Thursday, we are having a pot luck
I shall fry my own chicken, a family recipe I call Southern Cluck
I feel so priveledged, one bag of ice saved just for me
I am astounded, at the pot luck, no one tries my family recipe
I am a very sanitary person with a very noticeable habit
Maybe next time I will bring marinated Rabbit
I just wanna know why you find what I do so gross
I can mix a drink for you while you explain and all the while be picking my nose
Either way you look at it, of my nose, I am still in charge
I wonder often if someone has fingers that are too large
For them I feel bad they can't clear their airway
I clear it probably six or seven times a day
If I can't flick it, I wipe it on my clothes
Watch for sharp, dry objects left behind,this is one of the hazards when you pick your nose
This is dedicated to all of you nose pickers out there
Men will sometimes pull out nostril hairs
Women normally pull clean
Unless your name is Butchy McQueen
It is stuffed so you blow and blow
A finger irrigation can bring it under control
Don't dig so hard that you cause a nose bleed
No matter how often you harvest the field, the nose plants new seeds
I myself, never use self control
Even at lunch, when everyone is featstin' I still pick my nose
