Her Facial Hair | By: Eugene Carmen | | Category: Poem - Funny Bookmark and Share

Her Facial Hair

I met her, she had all the right attributes
Petite torso, a smile so cute
But I think she was incognito
I visited her house, she turned out to be a fan of the Dung Beetle
I pledged my love to her, and told her my heart she could save
It all went sour, a three o'clock shadow revealed she needed a shave
The Lionel Richie mustache and the ZZ Top beard
It seemed out of nowhere to have appeared
She said she was a Drill Instructor for the female Marines
In my opinion with facial hair like that, male or female, she falls somewhere in
She says in her sweet voice, come shave me with a Schicks Quad Razor
I tell her I've got to go, Baskin Robbins is coming out with a new flavor
She is a Grunt so she trapped me in a snare
She says I will release you after you shave my facial hair
She said her skin is sensitive so she uses Edge Gel with Aloe
I down a fifth of Black Velvet to try and mellow
Now I grab the quad and approach the task at hand
I am really confused here, do Iove her, or beat her up like I would a man
She tells me, if you think I'm hot, you should see my cousin Judy
She is the Drill Instructor who punishes those at K P Duty
I smile and cringe at the same time
At this point I realize the sun doesn't always shine
This experience will never be revealed in a truth or dare
To this day, I am still shaving her facial hair
She is now hated by all the fellas
Mostly it comes from being hairless and jealous
Now she has really thrown the train off the tracks
She showed me the shag carpet on her back
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