What I Wish You Knew
"What I Wish You Kew"
How much wish i could tell you everything is unbelievable
everything that happened that night, i wish you could explain
there is no one else I can trust more than you
I just wish you knew that too.
You woke me up that monday morning,
Easter was just the night before
as well as a day niether of us will let be forgotton
As you gently shook me out of a confused and unpeaceful sleep
you took my hand, and i looked into your eyes
that once comforting,and concerned face,
now covered in tears of sorrow that i could tell brought you pain
I knew bad news was coming
from the way you looked at me and cried
so i did my best to comfort you
as i tried to think of what could be wrong
but you refused my sympathy, and led me to my mother.
She told me the news,
that he was never coming back,
but i couldnt believe her, so I ran
down the hallway, to the couch where I saw you in a ball crying
you looked up at me with that face i will never forget
you sat me down and said that it was true and that everything was going to be alright
you held me and i cried and just couldnt stop
we must have been there for hours, time i wish i could return to
months went by
the shock and denial hadnt yet worn off
you watched out for me
knew when i was sad,
what i was going through
but it wasnt enough
i needed for you to know what i really thought
but i just didnt know how
those night i was terrified to sleep over your house
all those nights i cried
it was because i was afraid,
afraid that i would lose my mom too.
that nigt that it happened,
when my father took his life away
i was supposed to be with you
so i always thought, id become an orphan
if my mom died because i wasnt there to stop it
and i would have to face that pain again
but all that time, and even now,
you still dont know the truth
of how much i love you, and why i was so "sick"
all those nights at your house when you would take care of me
even after that,
once the shock wore off,
and my foolish fears went away,
and at your house for a night a could remain,
there was still so much i wished i could tell you
when we were on our girl scout trip to Salem, MA 2 years ago,
i still remember how you took my hand and held it,
as we walked down the road,
you told me how i was more than one of your own,
and i knew you meant it too
from the way you looked at me,
i knew you were thinking of that monday morning several Aprils ago
and how much each of us has changed since then.
then you told me the words i needed to hear,
"he loved you so much, he just knew he had to go, but you are still his daughter,
and he is still your father, and he still loves you so"
those words meant the world to me, even if you dont remember them
i just wish i could remind you of them
since that trip things spiraled down in my head,
but you always forgave me for some hurtful things that i've said
if i were you i wouldnt have of ever trusted me again,
but with time we ragained that trust once again.
even if you never knew it,
even when it seems like nothing at all
just with a simple phone call,
you stop me from drowning beneath it all
your words of inspiration, determination, and miracles
amazes me still
you always make the best lemonade out of those crappy lemons thrown at you
and that shows me that since you do, i can still fight too
you always have listened to the few opinions that i show,
and i wish i could tell you this one most of all
but i dont say much,
so this is will how it will remain locked up inside my head
until the day when it just seems right
which will one day come
i just wish i could tell you all these things now
i just wish i could tell you all the great things i have thought about you,
my Debbie, i will always love you
