Lupus Stole Her From Me
Lupus Stole Her from Me
From before she was taken from me, I would say that I have known her for fourteen years. I believe that the first time I met her was when I was seven years old. I remember, that one of the summers that I was with her and we went to one of my grandma’s places, it was during the summer and I had this stupid looking bathing suit, I was trying to go down the slide and I realized then that I didn’t know how to swim. My aunt Kim was sitting right there at the edge of the pool smoking a cigarette. She jumped to her feet it looked like there was a fire under her and she made sure that I was alright. She was so freaked. I remember what she said,” Shit! Don’t scare me like that!” She then had me swim in the middle of the pool until she knew that I was able to fully swim. So, that is how I learned how to swim. I was scared when that happened myself. Heh heh. There is so much that I don’t remember that I feel bad about. I don’t want to forget any of my memories with her. I don’t know if she was sick back then or not. All I know is that she was with me and that is what mattered the most to me.
There were times that my uncle would piss her off and she would get really angry. She was fierce when she was angry; my uncle knew that at full force. There were times that she took me out in town and just the two of us would hang out together. When her son, Darren was asleep that happened. She was very kind to me. Whenever I was upset, she would hold me like a mother. I guess you can say she was also like a mother to me as I didn’t really have a mother back then. Didn’t really think of her sister as a mother, still don’t. God, I miss the times that we would talk and joke around. I used to watch her pretty much pretend to beat her brother around when he was shooting his mouth off, it was funny. She would win too, hehe.
A time that I remember the best was when I was in my second foster home. My foster parent threatened to break something that was dear to me. This was back when I cared about my mother of course, not like that anymore. She has gone and betrayed my trust too much. Well, that is aside from the point of this. I got upset that night and I ran away to her house. She was just down the street and I didn’t even know it, I just ran and I saw Lady, her dog outside barking and then she walked out to bring her inside and she saw me and leaped for joy and she had me come inside. I told her what was going on and she listened without talking once. She hugged me and then she had me talk to my dad on the phone. I had to go home that night and she took me there and the foster mother slammed the door on her face not even thanking her. Of course, being me I yelled at the foster mom for that. I let her have it, when I should have kept a cool head. The next day, I missed the bus and my foster mother gave me the wrong directions to the school. The funny thing is that it was the directions to my aunt’s house. I went to my aunt telling her that I was supposed to go to school and I was lost and she took me to school and got me a granita. That was of course, after she spoke to my foster mom and all she did was close the door once again. So my aunt walked to the house and did her job for her pretty much.
After I was moved from that foster home I didn’t hear from my aunt Kim until I was in the eighth grade. While I was visiting my dad and step mom, I got a box of things from my aunt. It had my only picture of my aunt in it. The wedding picture of my aunt Kim and Uncle Richard. I was so happy, that is all that I cared about out of the entire box. She sent me a dictionary set of all sorts. I still have the dictionary and thesaurus. I treasure them to this day. The picture is starting to fall apart but I still have it and it is my most prized possession. I was always easy to please when it came to my aunt Kim. I don’t remember much of what happened after that but I do remember that I didn’t hear from her for a long time. I think the next time that I heard from her was when I got the new number from my step mom and I called her. She was so happy to hear from me. She was always happy to hear from me. She would always call me her little baby sometimes. Hehe….found it to be a little cute that she would call me that. She would always help to give me strength and hope when I was down. I heard from my step mom not long after I called her that she had lupus. I was devastated. I knew that my time with my aunt was very limited now. I didn’t know when I would lose her but I knew that it would most likely surprise me….that is what deaths are good at. They happen when you least expect it, when you don’t want them to happen. People are born to die they say, yes this is true but that does not mean that it isn’t painful. She was still young; she could have had more years to live if it wasn’t for the lupus. I think she was forty at the oldest. I don’t really know how old she was when she was taken from me.
Now, for the worst part of my memory ever, the death sequence. As I don’t remember the other times that we had together. I may rewrite this later on. Well, here it goes. My best friend had just got off of the phone with his fiancé, not long after my step mom calls and tells me that my aunt is dead. I was so upset that I threw the phone and my best friend’s mom talked to her. I was scared, I was upset. I didn’t want to deal with another death. I hadn’t had to do that since I was seven years old and I didn’t take that death too well and that was of someone who was close to me as well. I leaned over on my bed and I just cried and cried. I didn’t want to believe that this was true; I still don’t want to believe this. My aunt was the best friend I had in my family. She was also a mother to me. Now, she was gone. Still is gone. I will never be able to talk to her again. I remember that before this, I called her and told her that I got into college; she was so happy and so proud of me. She told me that she knew that I would do so well. She even said she would try and come to my concert for choir that was in December…that never happened as you can clearly see. She and wanted to plan a time where I could stay the night at her place for the weekend to get away for the weekend. That never happened either. I have regrets of not calling more or going to see her more. Everyone has regrets with this though. Now, I have to try and cope with this and move on. It will take time though…a lot of time. When the concert comes, I will sing for her and I will sing loud and proud. After all, I have to sing loud enough that my biggest fan will hear. Have to sing really loud for those who have been stolen from us to hear.
~Xai~
