I Can Finally Drive
My bicycle days are through
Please help me spread the news
I no longer have to be a 32 year old hermit
Mom and Dad got me my permit
I just bought a car that seats 5
Thanks to my parents I can finally drive
Mom goes with me and my girlfriend out to eat
Mom rides shotgun, my girl in the back seat
While we are eating with live entertainment
My girlfriend expresses how she doesn't like the car's seating arrangement
So my mom drives and my girl is shotgun
Now I am the lonely one
We drop off my girlfriend amd I ask my mom to remove the knife
She says stop complaining, now you can drive
The next night my Dad goes out with me and my buds
We want to sit back and suck down a few suds
Not on my watch, my Dad says
My night out with the buds was disasterous
After one beer, my Dad says you are too drunk to get behind the wheel
He has no idea how this freedom of driving makes me feel
My Mom and Dad are smothering me, my social life will never survive
With them around, it look as if I will never truly drive
Now it's Mom's turn to escort me, guess where we go
My girl and Mom in the front seats, we stop at Domino's
We all three sit in the car and wait for the pizza to get done
Mom says no a/c, let's enjoy the sun
I begin a waterfall of sweat
Mom says look at you, you're all wet
Mom asks for extra napkins when the pizza is delivered to the car
Mom say tonight is Friday, let's park by the lake and enjoy the stars
At the lake, I will drown myself, if I take a dive
I am going back to the bicycle, I will never again attempt to drive
