Death Bump | By: Joseph Schlegel | | Category: Short Story - Other Bookmark and Share

Death Bump

Chapter One
Once upon a time there was a frog with a bump on his head. He went to the doctor and asked what the bump was. The doctor told him it was a bump. He asked the doctor what it meant. The doctor said it meant there's a bump on his head. The frog asked what he should do, and the doctor replied that he should pay him money, because he's a doctor and it costs money for his opinion. The frog said that he had no money. The doctor decided that the frog should pay for his appointment the way they do in restaurants when people don't have enough money - he should wash dishes. The frog was washing the doctor's dishes, when he slipped on the edge of the sink and fell in, plugging the hole at the bottom. The sink filled up with water, and began to overflow. The doctor came into his kitchen and screamed, because he hated water. He ran away. The frog decided he loved water, and didn't move at all. He didn't move, not because he was content (although he was), but because he was dead. You see, the bump on the head was a death bump. It leaked a certain hormone into his brain that signaled death. That's how he died.

Chapter Two
At the same time as the frog was dying, the doctor was running down the street away from his house. He wasn't looking where he was going; he was just thinking that the water would catch him and kill him if he wasn't running fast enough. As a result, he tripped on a bump in the sidewalk. As he looked at the bump, he realized that the frog's bump on the head was a death bump. He knew that the frog had died, and it was his fault. The doctor felt sad, knowing that he could have given a specific medicine to save the frog, but instead made him do dishes as he died. As the doctor sat pondering this mistake, the water that had overflowed from his sink caught up with him. When the water touched his leg, he felt a pleasant sensation flow through his body. He, being a doctor, knew what this was - death hormone. The doctor screamed, not because he was going to die (although he was), but because he saw the water. He hated water. As he got up to run away, he thought "Oh boy, I'll bet my dishes all have death hormone on them now. I better not eat off of any of those." But he never got the chance, because he died three minutes later. The doctor had finally met his match - death. He now knew he was not invincible, and this thought saddened him.

The water eventually stopped flowing. The frog is still in the sink, dead. The doctor was found by his cousin, Bert, who decided to become a cannibal, and ate his head. The head tasted like human brains and eyeballs and tongue, and he didn't like the taste at all. He decided from that day on never to eat a human being again. He is now known as the anorexic cannibal. People like to laugh at him. He'll die tomorrow evening at 7:35pm.

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