Josh Riser, Secret Agent Man
Josh spends endless hours watching movies about Britian's Special Forces
He has taken several survaillance and private detective online courses
He soon earns his online certification`
Then he pays to join the Private Detectives Association
Josh has soon become Johnny Rivers number one fan
He tells everyone, "Johnny Rivers wrote a song about me called Secret Agent Man."
He hopes someone will give him a chance
Even if it just a job doing freelance
One day he gets a call from a representative from Lloyds Of London
The person tells him that they have an assignment and they will fund him
He is to meet with a chap called Peter Brewer
Josh had nice clothes, but Peter's were even newer
Peter hands Josh some photos and says, "You must stop Ivan Kerekerstoff."
Peter explains, " he wants to kill David Hasslehoff."
Josh replies, "That's a good thing, society would much more cleaner."
Josh continues, "David id the one who made my sister NIna much more meaner."
Peter explains, "David has a million dollar life insurance through our firm and we don't want to pay out."
Josh replies, "So what you are saying Mr. Hasslehoff ain't worth a milion, that's what this is all about."
Josh flies to Paris to meet up with Ivan Kerkerstoff
Josh will try to convince i van not to kill David Hasslehoff
Josh figures if he can stop this from happening, could possibly land another gig
Josh asks Ivan, "Is this over the pig?"
Ivan replies"Yes, that's where all of this began."
Ivan continues, "Miss Piggy was supposed be Sweet Swine and was to be her Hairy Back Man."
Ivan gets a text message from Miss Piggy that reads, "Meet me at the Eiffel Tower Grand Hotel, I want you handle me and treat me dirty, then give me a buttermilk bath and wash me clean."
Josh says in his head, "Good, now maybe my sister Nina can stop being mean."
Ivan explains to Josh, "I am to meet Miss Piggy for a midnight rondevous."
Josh replies back, "David is safe and your sexual beastiality fantasy will come true."
Lloyds Of Londaon just called Josh, he is off to Aregntina
Nina is now taking anger management classes so she don't have to be meaner
Josh is to meet with Miguel Sastross
I have job security, he wants to also kill David Hasslehoff