The golfer
"THE GOLFER”
Bill: Why in the hell do I even play this God forsaken game?
Don: That’s a good question.
Bill: And who in the hell are you or do I really care?
Don: I’m just a fellow golfer who has watched you time and time destroy a game of grace and relaxation and turn it in to your own personal hell.
Don: Have you ever wondered or asked yourself why you always play alone or why every one scatters when you come in the clubhouse? You probably didn’t even realize we have caddies?
Bill: We have caddies?
Don: Yes we have caddies you big dope they just run and hide when they see you coming.
Bill: Well the hell with them and the hell with you.
Don: See that’s exactly what I’m talking about, your attitude sucks, you have the worst approach to the game I have ever saw and I’ve watched you cheat and you’re playing alone, How sad is that?
Bill: Well Mr. Man I suppose you have all the answers don’t you, what do you suggest?
Don: For starters my name is not man it’s Don and second you need to fill in that chip on your shoulder, it’s a little large for me to deal with and besides I don’t want to fall in it when were playing, I hit enough bunkers on my own and I don’t need any help from you.
Narrator: Bill cracks a smile and Don formally introduces himself.
Don: Let’s have a cold beer before we hit the course and talk about why you play the game.
Bill: I don’t have time for this nonsense, besides I already know why.
Don: If you’d rather continue playing alone then be my guest, but if you want me to play with you were gonna have a beer.
Narrator: Bill pauses and says to himself, it would be nice to play with someone.
Bill: O.K. but you buy your own beer.
Don: I would expect nothing less from you.
Bill: What’s that suppose to mean?
Don: Oh nothing, let’s just go to the bar.
Narrator: Bill and Don go to the clubhouse and sit at the bar, Bill orders a draft and Don orders a bottle of Sam Adams and they begin to talk about the game.
Don: I bet you were a great athlete in high school and college and probably were Mr. Popularity?
Bill: That’s right how did you figure that out?
Don: I’ve seen guys like you before; you were once a great athlete so you think any schmuck can play golf and never expected it to be as difficult as it is.
Don: This is why you’re having so many problems with your game; you think you’re to big a man to actually learn the game of golf properly and what the game can give you.
Bill: What are you talking about, I have the best clubs, the best shoes and I joined the most expensive club.
Narrator: Don laughs in Bills face and tells him that they have nothing to do with the game.
Don: Golf is a game of grace and skill and is a gentleman’s game and you my friend are no gentleman, have you ever listened to yourself, every other word is cursing and even God himself won’t play Eagle Crest Country Club when your here.
Narrator: They finish their beers and Don orders another one and buys Bill a draft, Bill thanks him but doesn’t offer to return the gesture when they finish. Time passes and they talk for hours and before they realize, it’s time to go home, they schedule a tee time for seven a.m., but when Bill arrives in the morning Don is waiting for him in the parking lot and he doesn’t have his clubs, he tells bill don’t bother getting his clubs and that there doing some thing different today. They go to the first tee and approach the tee box.
Don: Have you ever just stopped and looked at this hole, in the morning when the sun rises over it you can see the dew sparkling, water trails where animals have crossed the fairway and swirl rings in the pond from the sunfish grabbing bugs from the surface in which I’m sure you’ve only seen your ball splashing and causing those rings.
Bill: Are you being a wise ass Mr. funny man, I don’t have time to look at all those things, I come to play golf not admire the wilderness.
Don: It’s all part of the game, in order to appreciate the game of golf you must first appreciate the course and why you’re really out here.
Narrator: So on this morning Bill and Don walk the course and stand on every tee box gazing at the fairways and its surrounding, but Bill isn’t quite getting it and gets frustrated with Don and ask him when they’re going to play some golf, and Don replies in good time my friend in good time. It took them six hours before they finally reached the eighteenth hole and when they arrived on the tee box Don pulled out a ball.
Don: Bill how far can you throw this ball?
Bill: How in the hell do I know.
Don: Well let’s see.
Bill: This is crazy what in the hell is that going to prove.
Don: It will prove one thing that until you open up you’re mind you will never understand the game of golf.
Narrator: Bill throws the ball.
Bill: Well how far did it go? Mr. Throw the ball.
Don: It doesn’t really matter now does it; the main thing is you threw it.
Bill: Well that proved a lot.
Don: Just stop and think Bill, did it really matter how far the ball went and what it proved?
Narrator: So Don and Bill walk to the clubhouse and don’t bother picking up the ball, they have a beer and talk for a while, after in which they schedule a tee time for seven a.m. the following morning. When they meet Don tells Bill to grab a ball and one tee and to follow him, but not to bring any clubs. They arrive at the first tee at seven o one and Don tells Bill to go ahead and tee up.
Don: It’s your honor so tee it up.
Bill: Man you’ve really lost it.
Don: Just do it.
Bill: Alright, alright, don’t lay a golf ball.
Don: When your done being a wise ass step back and observe the fairway, then approach the ball as if you were going to hit it and swing like you have a club in your hand.
Bill: Pushy old man aren’t you.
Narrator: Bill does what Don tells him.
Don: Now close your eyes and visualize the drive and tell me what you see.
Bill: I’ll tell you what I see, a grown man being a fool.
Don: Would you please try; and be creative.
Narrator: Bill closes his eyes and starts imagining and as he stands there he begins to see what Don is teaching him.
Bill: Believe it or not Don I can see the ball in the air, Wow the fairway seems a mile wide and the bunkers are not in play with my shot. The ball is flying by the water and holy crap I see swirls in the pond and it’s not from my ball.
Don: Open your eyes when the ball lands and we’ll continue.
Narrator: Bill was in amazement, he had hit a drive down the fairway even if it was imagination. He didn’t throw his club and no profanity came from his mouth. Bill and Don played the entire course this way, playing each hole like the next, Bill picturing each shot and the hole and all of its surroundings. With every hole Bill became less irritated with the game and started enjoying just being out there and appreciating the whole picture. For the first time Don saw Bill relaxed and not questioning every thing that is. The last four wholes Don joined Bill in the imagination game, they birdied the last hole and Bill just missed and eagle putt. Before they left Don told Bill to bring his clubs the next day and they’ll play some golf and to be here at seven. The next day came and Don and Bill approached the first tee, Don told Bill it was his honor so Bill teed up his ball stepped back and looked out over the fairway and what he saw made him stop and think of what Don had been trying to show him. There was a doe standing in the fairway by the left bunker and she was sipping out of the pond, and when she lifted her head a fawn with its spots as large as diamonds walked from behind her.
Bill: Have you ever seen anything so wonderful.
Don: Golf can be a wonderful sport Bill if you just appreciate all of what it can give you.
Bill: I finally see what you mean.
Narrator: As Bill and Don walked side by side down the fairway, clubs in their hand and the dew splashing off their shoes, the doe and her fawn bounded in to the woods and with a serious look Bill asked Don, do you think God will be our fourth tomorrow, they laughed all the way to the green and Bill broke a hundred for the first time, never losing his cool and looking forward to his next round of golf be it real or imaginative. The two of them played golf many times that year and the last time they played Don arranged for caddies to carry their clubs and Bill said to Don, wow they really do have caddies.
