Rich Guy Loserrrrr!!!
So one day I was talking to this blonde see? And I asked her out. See? And she told me, that I needed to
get a life cause like why am I askin her out after meeting her two minutes ago. See? So like totally she is
hot. That's probably why I get burned every time I'm around her. So anyway. I like to dance. I asked her
out again this time to dance, cause see I'm not the type to give up easily. I know she'll come through
soon.See? So what did she say? She said,"Look buddy, I got work to do." Ha! Work to do. That was the
funniest thing I heard. Omigosh she is totally hot. And I feel all sweaty and stupid around her.(Actually I feel
stupid around anyone) So yeah, but anyway we talked on the phone, cause see I took the initiative and
called her up. She said, "Honey, what is it? I'm busy now. I got customers in here giving me a hard time.
Could we talk later cause I can't talk to you and them at the same time. So I said, "Humph! If they're more
important than me, than I'm dumping you. Cause I ain't no loser who don't know when he ain't wanted. No
miss. I ain't. I ain't that type. So yeah. We stopped goin out just like that. Course most of our dates, she
was always sayin stuff like, "Look, I need to wash my laundry today. I would do it tomorrow honest, but I
need something to wear FOR tommorow, so I got to go." And usually the location of my date with this
magnificent blonde, would be the the sidewalk outside the mall or at the supermarket, or well pretty much
wherever I ran into my sweetie pie. I know she loves me like crazy. I ran into her 2 times this week. So
yeah, anyway, she likes to be modest when it comes to things personal. I respect that. I really do. But
when she slipped up and mentioned her birthday, I decided to prove my love for her even further than
words. I went out and bought her a sweet little puppy. I decided to surprise her. I snuck to her apartment
complex while she was at work. And asked the manager for the key. At first he was very suspicious, to
say in the least. Me, tall handsome, with sexy rolls and all. That it's no wonder he was. He must be jealous.
His hair may be whiter than mine but hey, she picked me to tell all about her daily routine. Ha! I don't see
him getting the inside scoop. So anyway, I told him the deal. That I had a puppy package for a special
someone in my life. After a while of talking which seem to make him even MORE suspicious, imagine that.
I mean you're supposed to WARM UP as you talk to someone, not cool down. So anyway I finally got him
when I gave him some of my famous cash that everyone seems to love, but he warned me, "You'd better
be careful not to make that gal mad." "Especially since you got lucky and ended up paying me more than
she paid me to keep you away."
Oh? She was planning on surprising ME?? I had gotten so involved in her birthday, I had forgotton mine. A
day apart from hers. How romantic. Oh I did remember it for awhile the other day, and that was when I
told her when it was, and she told me her's. Oh yeah. Ha! Well if she has a surprise for me in
there...well..well..hmm. I'll just slip my surprise package into the room without looking. Aaah, it was perfect.
So anyway, I went up to her apartment, and I unlocked the door, and placed the precious boxes inside.
One puppy, one birdy, and one rat.
The present she got me turned out to be a one way ticket to Hawaii. I wondered if she was coming with
me, so I picked up the phone and called her at homw. She didn't answer. And I remembered how she told
me never to call her at work unless it was an emergency. I immediately and without hesitation,dialed the
number of Swans Gift Shop where my blonde sweetie is manager. And that was the beginning of the end
of our relationship. I am heartbroken. But hey, at least I showed her my love with the untrained chihuaua,
giant rat and pterodachdal. I am so proud of myself for caring for others.
