Rich Guy Loserrrrr!!! | By: Brandy | | Category: Short Story - Comedy Bookmark and Share

Rich Guy Loserrrrr!!!

So one day I was talking to this blonde see? And I asked her out. See? And she told me, that I needed to

get a life cause like why am I askin her out after meeting her two minutes ago. See? So like totally she is

hot. That's probably why I get burned every time I'm around her. So anyway. I like to dance. I asked her

out again this time to dance, cause see I'm not the type to give up easily. I know she'll come through

soon.See? So what did she say? She said,"Look buddy, I got work to do." Ha! Work to do. That was the

funniest thing I heard. Omigosh she is totally hot. And I feel all sweaty and stupid around her.(Actually I feel

stupid around anyone) So yeah, but anyway we talked on the phone, cause see I took the initiative and

called her up. She said, "Honey, what is it? I'm busy now. I got customers in here giving me a hard time.

Could we talk later cause I can't talk to you and them at the same time. So I said, "Humph! If they're more

important than me, than I'm dumping you. Cause I ain't no loser who don't know when he ain't wanted. No

miss. I ain't. I ain't that type. So yeah. We stopped goin out just like that. Course most of our dates, she

was always sayin stuff like, "Look, I need to wash my laundry today. I would do it tomorrow honest, but I

need something to wear FOR tommorow, so I got to go." And usually the location of my date with this

magnificent blonde, would be the the sidewalk outside the mall or at the supermarket, or well pretty much

wherever I ran into my sweetie pie. I know she loves me like crazy. I ran into her 2 times this week. So

yeah, anyway, she likes to be modest when it comes to things personal. I respect that. I really do. But

when she slipped up and mentioned her birthday, I decided to prove my love for her even further than

words. I went out and bought her a sweet little puppy. I decided to surprise her. I snuck to her apartment

complex while she was at work. And asked the manager for the key. At first he was very suspicious, to

say in the least. Me, tall handsome, with sexy rolls and all. That it's no wonder he was. He must be jealous.

His hair may be whiter than mine but hey, she picked me to tell all about her daily routine. Ha! I don't see

him getting the inside scoop. So anyway, I told him the deal. That I had a puppy package for a special

someone in my life. After a while of talking which seem to make him even MORE suspicious, imagine that.

I mean you're supposed to WARM UP as you talk to someone, not cool down. So anyway I finally got him

when I gave him some of my famous cash that everyone seems to love, but he warned me, "You'd better

be careful not to make that gal mad." "Especially since you got lucky and ended up paying me more than
she paid me to keep you away."
Oh? She was planning on surprising ME?? I had gotten so involved in her birthday, I had forgotton mine. A

day apart from hers. How romantic. Oh I did remember it for awhile the other day, and that was when I

told her when it was, and she told me her's. Oh yeah. Ha! Well if she has a surprise for me in

there...well..well..hmm. I'll just slip my surprise package into the room without looking. Aaah, it was perfect.

So anyway, I went up to her apartment, and I unlocked the door, and placed the precious boxes inside.

One puppy, one birdy, and one rat.

The present she got me turned out to be a one way ticket to Hawaii. I wondered if she was coming with

me, so I picked up the phone and called her at homw. She didn't answer. And I remembered how she told

me never to call her at work unless it was an emergency. I immediately and without hesitation,dialed the

number of Swans Gift Shop where my blonde sweetie is manager. And that was the beginning of the end

of our relationship. I am heartbroken. But hey, at least I showed her my love with the untrained chihuaua,

giant rat and pterodachdal. I am so proud of myself for caring for others.
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