T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

                                                                                       (A WESTERN VERSION)

                                                                                       BY JOHNNYGRAYBEAR

T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, AND ALL THROUGH THE RANCH, NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING, YOU COULD HEAR A BRANCH SNAP! WITH SNOW ON THE GROUND AND OWLS IN THE TREES, WE ALL SETTLED DOWN TO CATCH US SOME Z’S.

DREAMING OF A BREAKFAST OF BACON, EGGS AND BISCUITS, COOKIE MADE A CHRISTMAS CAKE WITH LITTLE FRUITS IN IT. HE SETTLED DOWN LAST, AND TIRED HE WAS, HE’S FIRST IN THE MORNING TO GET A COFFEE BUZZ.

ALL OF A SUDDEN FROM A DEEP SLEEP WE WOKE, TO THE SOUND OF LOUD FOOTSTEPS! THIS IS NO JOKE! BUT TO WHAT DID OUR SLEEPY EYES DID APPEAR, BUT BIGFOOT AND RUDOLF, MAKING OFF WITH OUR BEER! COOKIE YELLED OUT, THEY’VE GOT MY CAKE TOO! THIS IS A TERRIBLE THING, WILL A BATTLE ENSUE?

WE SCRAMBLED OURSELVES DRESSED, AND GOT ON A HORSE, THE CHASE HAS BEGUN! WE MUST STAY THE COURSE! WE FOUND THE FOOTPRINTS AND WERE HOT ON THEIR TAIL, THERE WERE EMPTY BEER CANS ALL OVER THE TRAIL. BY THE TIME WE FOUND THEM, IT WAS TOO LATE. RUDOLF THREW THE LAST CAN AT OLE JAKE!

DRUNK AS HE WAS, RUDOLF DARED JAKE TO SHOOT! WE HAD VENISION STEW FOR DINNER AND JERKY TO BOOT! AND BIGFOOT? WELL…A FEW DAYS LATER, JAKE CAME THROUGH THE DOOR, WITH A NEW FURRY RUG FOR OUR BUNKHOUSE FLOOR.

THE MORALE OF THE STORY IS SAD BUT TRUE: DON’T STEAL FROM A COWBOY AND DARE HIM TO SHOOT, YOU MAY BE HIS RUG OR EVEN HIS STEW!

                                                           THE END(OF BIGFOOT AND RUDOLF)