Deer Hunters Try to Bag Brown Bears | By: Greg Miller | | Category: Short Story - Funny Bookmark and Share

Deer Hunters Try to Bag Brown Bears


© 2012

Mercy and Grace were big brown bears, which lived deep in the forest.

Mercy and Grace dearly loved their cubs, Hope and Charity. Most of the time, the family spent their lives secluded from the creatures they referred to as “evil men.”

One day, however, two hunters spotted Mercy and Grace, who had gotten hungry during their hibernation, and had gone searching for a snack. Grace’s sister, Gertrude, was cub sitting the baby bears.

The bears were finding slim pickings, however. All the berries had been consumed by the animals long ago. The squirrels had not left a single nut on the ground or in the trees for hungry snack searchers. All the tasty rabbits were safe in their cozy underground apartments.

Love and Wisdom, the two deer hunters, were in the forest for a week of hunting. Including the last buck that Wisdom had shot, the brothers had reached their limit for the deer hunting season.

The brothers weren’t the best housekeepers in the world and, after eating dinner the previous evening, they carelessly left small pieces of their sandwiches on the ground. The smell of nearby food had awoken the two bears. Grace and Mercy discovered their blessings at about the same time Love and Wisdom caught sight of the big furry creatures.

“I’m sure glad the hunting season for deer and bear are held at the same time,” said Wisdom.

“And since we already have our limit on deer, we can concentrate on bagging one of these two bears,” Love chuckled.

Wisdom and Love moved cautiously toward Grace and Mercy. The hunters had never actually hunted bears before, so Grace and Mercy easily detected the presence of the “evil men.”

Just in the nick of time, Mercy and Grace bolted for a stand of trees in the distance. Love’s shot hit nothing but air. Wisdom’s shot was a bit closer to home, and the bullet from his gun grazed Grace’s right ear.

Mercy realized his mate had been wounded. “How are you doing, Sweetheart?,” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Grace replied. “The bullet barely touched my right ear. I’m a fast healer, so I will be better in no time.”

“I think we forgot about the overlapping deer and bear hunting seasons,” said Mercy.

“So for the next couple of weeks, I think we need to stay back here where the trees are more densely populated,” said Grace.

“I know the Lord is a gracious, merciful, loving and omnipotent God,” said Mercy. “But I don’t plan on staying here for just two more weeks. As of right now, I plan to stay here for the rest of my life.”

“I‘ll be right by your side,” said Grace. “Now, we’ll have to pray that those hunters don’t decide to follow us back here!”

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