how to dig a hole | By: randy rife | | Category: Short Story - Biography Bookmark and Share

how to dig a hole

Well,it starts about, lets call it 30 years ago I started on the path
that took me to the land of self destruction.

I dont know where I made my first wrong turn, but I wish there had been
a beacon or a tresspass threat sign there, cuz damn I just never could
master doing the "right thing". Know what I mean? Kinda like this one time.
time. Guess I was bout 12 or so. At that time I was growing up on a bayou
in south Texas. Hell you know kids, if theres rocks , and water in the
same zip code the rocks end up hurling through the air to meet their
new watery hangout for the next eon or so. So here I am 12 years old,
standing on a pile of rocks (actually they were bricks) 10 feet from a
75 yard wide body of water. I was gonna do some throwin.

Well, would'nt ya know it, some family in a canoe was in my target
zone.Now honestly I was just trying to mess with'em a bit, and besides something
in my head said "Sure just lob a couple bricks out there and, wake these people up"
So I did just that. I chucked a half a brick into the great beyond,
the problem though is that my aim was a bit better than I intended.
That poor little girl, I've never reversed a grin so fast. I could see
the brick falling through space like air suddenly had the consistency
of karo syrup. That damn stone hit that poor girl right smack on the crown
of her blond encrusted skull, kinda made a sick smack sound, like if
you dropped a ripe peach from a 3 story window. Well the dad got his panties in a
bunch and figured he was gonna row over there and wear me out. By the
time he got that boat facing my direction, I was at the house,...where
I stayed for the next 3 days.

Now your probably asking yourself how anybody could rationalize an
action such as this and think "Seems safe to me, bombs away!" but in my
mind things just do not register that way, don't ask me why, they just
don't. wait till you hear the gallon jugs off the overpass tale, what
a dipshit. Honestly, to this day I sit and, wonder if what I did that
day at the bayou maybe has an affect on that girls life even today. I
don't think I could handle knowing that one of my stupid stunts maybe
caused someone to have a speech problem, or loss of dexterity, or like
a wandering eye or something. I did not mean for that to happen and If
I could go back in time and switch places with her I would. Not knowing sucks.

Well that was one of many bad decision stories I have to tell. Not many
end up this bad ,as a matter of fact alot of them are a riot. I'll let
you know when I get em' all together You will get to know a man who can
talk himself into anything and the prices I've paid. wish me luck.
I need it!
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