Church pews discuss workload
A medium-sized church in a large metropolitan city was known far and wide for its Bible-based preaching. The church’s members loved God with all their hearts, and they encouraged the pastor to continue boldly proclaiming God’s Word. All of the church’s members enthusiastically threw themselves into God’s work. “I’m so proud of the way everyone works together to fulfill their roles in this church!,” exclaimed the pastor. Even the church’s furniture and other inanimate objects worked tirelessly to advance God’s kingdom. “Church Pews, Pulpit, Piano and Organ all go far above the call of duty to minister to the Lord, too,” said the pastor. Pulpit enjoyed a prominent position at the front of the church. “I thank the Lord every single day that He allows me to hold the Bibles while the pastor preaches the sermons,” Pulpit said. “It’s a tremendous honor.” Piano and organ were proud of their musical contributions to the church. “We are certainly noteworthy,” piano bragged. “We do have the keys to the music of the worship services,” echoed organ. Church Pews did not agree about the amount of work they shared. Prior to one Sunday evening service, Front Row Church Pew and Back Row Church Pew discussed their workload. “It’s great being at the front of the church,” said Front Row Church Pew. “Normally, only a few people sit on me during the services. On holidays and other special occasions, my workload is a bit heavier, though.” “My workload is heavier than yours for almost every service,” complained Back Row Church Pew. “For some reason, I’m a lot more popular than you are. For most services, I’m jam-packed and I don’t have a square inch of extra space to spare. In fact, for many services, my twin brother, Back Row Church Pew Number Two, is also filled to capacity.” “I wonder why you’re more popular than me!,” exclaimed Front Row Church Pew. “One reason,” shared Back Row Church Pew, “is that according to some people, the preacher talks too loudly.” “Those people are wrong,” sighed Front Row Church Pew. “Some of the people who sit on me say they can barely hear him because he speaks so softly! “A couple of them complain about one of the brothers in the ‘Amen Corner’ using a little extra volume, but other than that my job is pretty cool.” “You’re right about that,” agreed Back Row Church Pew. “One of the brothers who used to sit in the Amen Corner moved to the back row because during one service he shouted ‘Amen’ so loudly that he upset himself!” To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements and/or puppet ministry, please email [email protected].