when I learn the true reality of pain. It was night time on a summer night. I was minding my own business when my brother barged in on my room. Hey wichi he asked what you doing? I said nothing. Just watching television. It was martial art matinee. I had a long sleeve nightgown with flowers imprinted on it. My family on the weekends enjoy parting a lot. There was always drinking and playing dominoes. I kept my self from being around them you see. I just became a young mother of a beautiful baby boy. He was at the crib sleeping.
Nothing else matter to me but my son. I was still young but full of dreams and hopes. Of one day having my own things. My things that I would called my own. My brother left the room and kept coming back and forth. I found that very amusing at first. Till all of a sudden he came very close to me and started to stare at me not like a sister but as a woman. I became frighten I did not like that feeling. He sat on my bed and suddenly he grabbed me by my neck he squished so hard I thought that I was going to faint. I started struggling with hi but it was for nothing because he over powered me. I gave up. My tears came down from my eyes. I could not scream. What the hell is wrong with him I keep screaming in my head. Stop, stop I tried to scream and words did not come out. All I could do is watch him lift my nightgown up. He brought down my panties I struggled more and more saying no. he was on top of me. He entered inside me and did what he wanted. I felt dirty, afraid I cried and cried. When he was done he got up from me I pushed him away and he just looked at me. I ran downstairs. I told my mom but she did not believe me. I screamed at her . She walked up to me and slapped me. I shouted I hate you. She the went upstairs and saw my brother . She screamed how could you, shes your sister. I left the house I ran and ran until I could not run anymore. I hid under the slide in the park. I felt lost betrayed by those whom I should have trust. I hated everyone's. I hated myself. From the distance I heard a voice call out my name. I replied it was my brothers girlfriend she asked if I was alright I said no. she told me your mom is looking for you. I replied I did not wanted to go home. But then I thought my son I can not leave him there I got to go back. I was shaking when I got home all I did was run upstairs and locked my self in my room. My mom never mention the situation. She walked around the house as if nothing happened. Few days later I told my teacher and she made a phone call. I was removed from my moms house and went to live in a batter shelter for woman with my son. Now im thirty five years old to this day me and my mom are strangers. I don't speak with my brother. I cary this scar for the rest of my life. Hoping one day I speak to my mom about it. I want her to know how I feel. How it has affected my entire life. How it had changed me.