Pretzel Issues | By: Sean Bryant | | Category: Short Story - Funny Bookmark and Share

Pretzel Issues

Jordan was a man about his late 20ís, he had a problem. This problem was not like other problems other people have had in the past, in fact it was nothing like other peoples problems. His problem was his obsession with pretzels. You see, that was only one part of the problem, this man Jordan had a second personality; he HATED this second personality for all that he could. He would do anything to rid himself of it this evil second personality name Sue. Sue was not an ordinary person either, being Bi was not the way to go but Sue enjoyed it. Being bi was the wave of the future and they both knew this, but Sue enjoyed the men and Jordan enjoyed the woman. Because Jordan himself did not think of himself and bi he wanted to get rid of Sue. One day Jordan was walking down the streets of new york, he saw a new stand he had NEVER seen before, a stand unlike any other, and on it was the biggest, fatest, juiciest more scrumptiously looking pretzel he had ever seen in his entire life. He had to have that pretzel. He went up to the stand and asked how he could acquire it. The man dressed up in a red suit with a evil and sly grin staring down at the poor Jordan said, the Pretzel can only be bought by selling your second personality. Jordan hearing this jumps on the offer and tells him to take Sue because he did not want the personality of Sue anymore for he hated her. Sue hearing this took over and asked the man behind the pretzels how it was going to work. She was told that one of them had to agree to give themselves up. Seeing how Sue loved pretzels as much as Jordan did, Sue told the man to take her as the one to get taken away. He started to grab for sue then sue suddenly transformed into Jordan leaving Jordan as the one getting taken by the evil man. The evil man not caring who he grabbed left sue there with her giant lovely pretzel. Sue was so happy.
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