A Huge Mistake | By: Nathan Ketchen | | Category: Short Story - Funny Bookmark and Share

A Huge Mistake

Eugene was enormous. In fact, he was such a big guy that he could hardly find clothes to fit him. He wasn’t enormous in a fat way, but rather a muscular way. He was muscle head to toe. He liked it that way. People respected him, and the chicks really dug him. Everywhere he went there were women who all noticed him.
One day Eugene was standing in front of his favorite mirror, flexing his huge muscles, and admiring his own tan, when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. Naturally it was his mother. “Eugene, honey, it’s time for dinner.” She always said it that way.
He did not like being shaken from his worship sessions in front of the mirror. “Mom, I’m BUSY.”
“Now, Eugene, honey, you’re twenty-six years old. I know you’re older than most boys your age, but you must still obey your parents.” She loved to say things that confused him, because somehow it would break down his resistance.
Eugene was still trying to figure out what she had said the night before about cows having four stomachs. It seemed that he always had a puzzled look on his face when talking to her. “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute,” he said, “I just have to....finish my homework.”
She knew he was lying, partly because he never did homework, but mostly because he wasn’t in school. Never the less, she humored him, “All right, dear.”
With that, she was gone and Eugene could focus on more important things....himself. At least for a couple of minutes. That’s when it occurred to him. A huge idea, so huge it reminded him of himself. He wasn’t going to dinner. He was going somewhere else......the beach!! He just needed a plan to give his mom and dad the slip. He raised one eye brow as he looked into the mirror at himself.
The idea that came to him was utter brilliance...in his mind. In reality it was ridiculous. He would disguise himself as a mirror! He found himself a dime to use as a make-shift screw driver to take the mirror off the wall. Then he would simply walk down the stairs and out of the house. All his parents would see was nothing!! Just like in those magic tricks where they use mirrors to hide things. His heart pounded with the excitement of actually thinking of something.
Having taken the mirror off the wall, he pressed it against himself and crept out of his room. Down the stairs he went, just like he planned. It was going to work, it really was!
“Eugene, what are you doing with your mirror?”
If only he had the mirror facing in the right direction, his mother never would have seen him! Then again, it was pretty obvious even when it was facing the right way. Quickly Eugene thought of the perfect answer, “I’m going to the beach.”
“Gene, when are you going to get a job?” his father chimed in.
“What is this, the Spanish inquisition?!” Eugene said as he leaned the mirror against the wall.
His parents just looked at each other, as if they knew exactly what the other was thinking. “No, Eugene.” his mother said. “And by the way, you have our permission to go to the beach without having dinner.”
Now, that he understood. “Thanks, Mom!” With that, he ran outside. Just as he slammed the door, the mirror fell over from its position. His parents watched as it shattered into a million pieces on the hard wood floor.
They looked at each other again, and his mother non-chalantly went to the closet and got out the broom to clean up her son’s mess.
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