Sister Against Sister
It is true what is written in the Book
of St. Matthew 10: where it says the brother will rise up against brother, and children against their parents. That is what happened to me in 1983. M family turned against me because they would support me in keeping and raising my daughter, whom is now someone's else daughter.
I have tried to both forgive and forget the harm of what my family in particular little sister did to me in the past, but it is hard to let go of the pain your family causes you. It is hard to get past it and move forward.
I have tried to do so, but only realized now, that I will not be able to do so, because they helped to take a core part of me, and I feel I have little or nothing to live for.
My youngest sister, whom is only 15 months younger than I am, we have never been close, nor was my oldest sister, whom is now dead. But both of them were close and bonded very well. Always being there for each other. But never ever being there for me. I am the "Black Sheep#2" of the family.
My oldest brother, Larry, whom died in an auto accident was "blacksheep#1" and they-my lateparents- drove him out of the house at an early age, and destroyed his only chance of happiness by talking his fiance, Laurie, out of marrying him. He died at age 22, and probably his very spirit was crushed, as my own is crushed now.
Neither of us could live up to the expectations of our parents. I was never allow to forget it. But my other siblings, oh yes, they have someway. They do not have the same mental and learning disabilites I have. They have gone onto living successful lives and their marriages, although some are happy and others are not have lasted.
Unlike me, I have been married three times, divorced twice, but husband three died, so I am a widow.
Everyone else has been there for each other, they are stay in contact with one another, but not one of them ever calls me. Not one has come to visit me since I have lived up here in Chicago.
I did go to see my sister in 95. But I was not at all oomfortable. She is too much of a socializer and extrovert. Whereas, I am not comfortable in large public gatherings and socializing with anyone, this is because the way I was treated by my own peers while in High school.
Living in a dysfunction family is not always easy, not if you yourself is disabled with mental illness and learning disabilities. No one inside ofyour family is able to accept you or outside of your family is. This is because of the stignmatism surrounding both types of disabilities.
The pain still persists that my family turned against and would not support me in my ability to raise my daughter.
I am hurting and I do not know how to get past the pain. I live a day by day existence and wish it would all come to an end.
I hope those of you whom read this, do not turn your back on your family. Be there for each other, support one another, and love one another for whom and what you are.