What God Hath Joined!
The intention of this feature is to raise the awareness of the need in our society for the supportive family network which will avoid many young women whom are able to raise their children even if they are unwedded mothers with the help and support of their families so un-needed and unnecessary adoption can be avoided at all cost and if the young woman is disabled in someway, that her family wi ll stand besides her and support her so she is able to keep her baby and raise it unless adoption is the only recourse available to her.
It is said, that the family is the back bone of society in the US. However, more and more, young umarried women whom decide, (Praise be to God) not to have an abortion but rather opt for an
adoption, whether it be an "open" or "closed" adoption to put her child up for adoption. I am writing this story to encourage all young working un wedded mothers to realize the consequences of their actions in doing so.
The family is like a "marriage" it can not be dissolved. In the Gospel of St.
Matthew, Jesus states, that what God hath joined let no man put asunder. This means both marriage and family, which goes hand and hand.
Grant it, there are alot of divorces in the US today. However, marriage is one thing, it is disoluble due to adultery,
however, one's children is one's children for the rest of their lives.
Adoption does not eliminate your responsibility to that child, jus because you have signed away your parental rights to said child.
Nine out of ten adult adoptees when they turn the age of legal majority do go looking for their birth parents.
It is for one of three reasons, 1) to be reunited with their birth parents,
2) for disclosure on why they were placed up for adoption, or 3) Just to meet the birth parents and then to get on with the rest of their lives.
There is a small percentage of children every year taken away from their parents by state social workers and the courts terminate their parental rights to said children and this makes them
eligible for adoption.
I am one such case, and if you read this and want to know more after I finish this story, feel free to write me. My daughter was taken from my custody, care, and control not because I was nelgectful or abusive, it was because of the narrow mindnesses of social workers and the Juevnile Court system on the lack of education concerning mental illness and disability that caused me to lose my daughter. It would not have happened I was told if my family had been there to support me and stand behind me. But no,
no one in my family would do this so then I lost my parentalrights to my child, and sequently she was placed into her adoptive family, which Iwas told was a good family and that the woman whom was to become her adoptive mother had already raised to Learn disabled sons, so my daughter would get the proper support and services she needed to grow up and live a normal of life as she could.
Atlas, that wasnot true, because just last year, rather 1999, those same people whom adopted her then stated had they known how mentally handicap my daughter was at the time of her adoption they would have never gone through with it at all. They were very
begruding towards her because of her special needs they had to go into their saving account, because the state in which she lives would no pay for he second year at a college that offered mentally disabled college age students
a program concerning vocational and rehab program. So, they had to pay for the second year. They resented it.
They stated that they felt and no longer considered them to be her parents and once she got out of that program she would be on her own. That they would move her into her own apartment so she could not moveback in.
While growing up with these people, they never taught her how to use the public transportation in her city. They never knew that most LDs and DD's never learn to drive a car and that they need to learn how to get around using public transportation so it enables them to be
independent as possible.
Nor did they teach her any life skills, such as cooking, cleaning, or so forth.
They did not mainstream her back into regular education classes while in high
school, but rather let her stay in special education.
Such dangers exist for other children whom may be placed up for adoption, whether it be voluntarily or involuntarily such as mine.
Today, we need a supportive family network, whereas the birthmother has choices other than adoption.
Today I see more an more white families turning against their daughters or sisters or whom ever when they become pregnant and un-married. Thus the person feels they only have two choices one is adoption andthe other is abortion. Which is the less of the two evils I do not know. Both are equalin my eyes and undermines the backbone of our society which is to keep the family together at all cost and allow no one or non-entities to remove our children from our loving care.
Many articles are writing about the fact that adoptive children have many more mental and emotional health problems due to not be raised by their own parents, rather being raised by complete strangers unless the child was is an infant and doesnot know the birth mother at all.
Not to mention that many adult adoptees are coming forth and sharing their horror stories about how they were raised and treated differently from their adoptive parents natural offspring.
Which is the case of my daughter. Her adoptive parents allow their natural sons to live at their home but not her.
In fact, in front of a pyschologist they stated they could hardly wait to get her out of their home.
The psychologist, casemanagers involved with her case were horrified when they heard this news, and asked them, then why in the world did you adopt her in the first place?
They told said individuals that they wanted a daughter but did not know how disabled she was going to be until later on.
Another words , once she turned 18, but they hold her temporary legal guardianship and are her SSI payees, that they threw her to the wolves so to speak.
To this I say, these people are nothing more than monsters. They are cold, heartless and insenstive. They have discarded her like an old shoe.
I encourage white families to be more supportive towards their daughters like those of the Afro-American and Hispanic famiies are to theirs. United We Stand and divided we fall. Let us use as our examples supportive Afro-American and Hispanic families do, and think about family first and not adoption or abortion. Or it may come back to haunt us later on.