I've been on a journey, a very long one. Along the way I've seen green grass
and sunshine in the rain, I've seen Mother's Nature fury and tenderness, I've
seen desert in the sky and the Earth bathing in the Sea.
Sometimes I felt good to be out, away from human race because, here, nobody
could turn and make me feel pain.
On the first week of the journey I was talking with the plants and birds, with
the rocks and snakes and they've told me how I can manage with the little things
that I've got in my pockets and in my soul. After them I've met the sand and
hills, the mountains and the stars and they've told me about Life in the
Universe. They've thought me how to raise my hands and ask God for advice. Than
I've met an old, bared tree on top of a rock. The night was so heavy so I lay
down, near the tree's roots and fall asleep. During my rest my soul found a
small gate and went out on its own journey, leaving his promise, on a blank
sheet, that the next day he will come back.
When I woke up next day my soul did not return from its journey, so I woke up
my shadow. Two people, two strangers walking side by side with different
perspective of seeing and understanding of what is going on in Life.
The next week the air was very hot and the ground was dry. My skin began to
turn red and every new step was harder and harder to take. In my mind came
thousands of images. Images about good and bad times and mistakes that I made.
The way I hurt people, the way I dissapointed my children, the way I lost the
love of my life. But even then I felt happy because I still have my shadow with
me and because nobody were here to make me cry, to make me crawl with pain.
After seventeen days I've reached a river bed and he told me the story of a
beautiful river that once used to flow and bring smiles on people's faces and
make them dance and sing loud love songs, and I was a little bit sad to think
now it was dead.
"You've grown thinner! Have you been ill?" I asked my shadow.
"No, I'm not ill. Have you forgotten that I can never be ill. I look so much
like you", the shadow answered in low voice.
The shadow's eyes looked so strange giving me a creepy feeling down my spine.
Suddenly he broke the silence with a loud laugh. With an anxious face I reply
back with a quick smile.
"If you really are in need of truth then why are you running away from reality,
from home?" said the shadow standing into the river bed.
"Me... I'm not running from reality. I just took a brake from all that noise.
I'm tired of all the pain I've been through. How long can I live happy in a
city like Lefkosia? Nothing is there... Not for me anymore", I spoke with heavy
tears in my eyes.
"Oh! so you thought that is better for you to move. Do you think that here
grows, like trees and flowers, the truth? You must be crazy to think like
that", came the response, like a cold shower. "Here death is much closer to
you... Here you can only find the crashing reality; a reality that can destroy
men like you in a very short time. Nobody can find the truth without being able
to deal with pain... Search inside you! I'll go now... All depends on you..."
"Wait!... Where are you going?" I asked desperately. "Don't leave me here!"
"Like I said you have the power to choose; you always had it. Make the right
choice and we will meet again."
The shadow approached me and hugged me. Than he kissed me on my cold forehead.
"Goodbye! I trust on you!", and the shadow dissappeared.
It was the first time when I was completely alone. So I close my eyes for a
while and I heared the clouds howling. When I looked at them again they seems
to be frozen on the purple-blue sky. I felt so miserable, so lonely and dirty.
Now I'm so empty. First my soul left, now I lost my shadow...
"Why am I here? Is it truth or death that I'm looking for? Which one of them I
need more?" I asked myself.
I sit down on a rock and I've cried for a whole hour. Then I turn around and
went straight home, without looking back at all.
After another seventeen days I reached home and for my surprise I found my
shadow in the dinning room, watching the sport channel and drinking Bergenbier.
Lots of Bergenbier.
" Oh my God! What are you doing in here?"
" Me, nothing important, just waiting for you to come back so we can start
again. And you?"
"Me... I guess I think I'm ready to face the pain that will come from now on."
"Kiss me baby! That's the spirit I like in you; you never give up. And let me tell you
a secret. I know that a woman named Aislin is not dead at all", said the shadow.