As presented to Cindy Thomas by her adorable husband John Thomas
As I begin writing this tale, I am draped in survival mask gear.
I feel I should give fair warning to the reader that, to be without your own survival mask gear,
could be a matter of brain damage or death, or wishing for one or both.
Now you ask the question, why are you draped in survival mask gear? Well, the answer is simple.
I wish to live and have a semi-normal non-brain existence.
Between my adorable husband John, and myself, we have managed to nearly explode our home.
How has this great feat come about, you ask? In short, a three letter word…….G A S. Call it beans,
call it bananas, call it eggs, call it anything you wish, we call it blowing our butts off.
Now mind you, this has been a tricky thing, blowing our butts off. In doing so, we have successfully
managed NOT to kill anyone else with the flying butt parts. However, I cannot say the same for lingering
odor. Perhaps that lingering odor would explain the body fallout all over our lovely home.
In closing, I wish to warn all who read this, please take into account if you have the need to explode
your bottom end, please do so with caution and if nothing else, think of the rest of the world and try to
miss hitting them with the butt parts as they fly through the air upon explosion of gas.
In simple terms this means, don’t do as I do, do as I say, and let us live another day.
I, however, cannot say I would do the same when it comes time for my beans or other food
additives to leave my body and fly through space as air at an incredible speed.