Bigfoot Likes Breck Shampoo | By: Eugene Carmen | | Category: Short Story - Funny Bookmark and Share

Bigfoot Likes Breck Shampoo

It is said in Oregon there is a legend that is very rare
Everyone who has seen it says it is all hair
It is quiet in its suburban surroundings
This poor creature in the seventies we were constantly hounding
The eighties came and the creature disappeared like a fad
Only to resurface with a smell so rad
We have left Bigfoot several gifts including films made by producer John Woo
Recently scientists have translated some Bigfoot drawings, they reveal that
Bigfoot likes Breck Shampoo
They say Slinky is fun for a girl and a boy
But experts say it's not something Bigfoot would enjoy
We gave Bigfoot and Etch and Sketch to see if that was a hum dinger
He sent it back to us with a drawing of the middle finger
We put a food display out with a Wal Mart employee to offer samples of Dinty
Moore Beef Stew
Bigfoot gave the employee an old flyer and pointed at Breck Shampoo
The employee commented that Bigfoot had a pleasant smell
And now Bigfoot wants some DEP10 GEL
The Goverment responds with a letter that reads boo hoo hoo
The letter further stated that they are rejecting Bigfoot's request DEP10 GEL and
Breck Shampoo
The letter reads sorry, but technically you are an American, we only help those
Illegals here and offer foreign aid, so there's nothing we can do
Bigfoot demands some equality, a fair shake from the Government too
All this contreversey could have been avoided by a donation of Breck Shampoo
So he shaves himself to better fit in and learns Spanish and become an Illegal
Now endless cases the Government will send
Now there are Bigfoots everywhere some live next door to me and you
No wonder I can't buy DEP10 GEL or Breck Shampoo

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