Conrad The Male Mobile Stripper | By: Eugene Carmen | | Category: Short Story - Funny Bookmark and Share

Conrad The Male Mobile Stripper

Conrad got this insane idea

Buy a Pacer and ditch the KIa

He wanted to be his own boss and have his own business

No more girlfriend sohe dumped Elizabeth

He wanted a business where there would be a lot of heavy tippers

At that moment, he realizes he would become a mobile male stripper

He went to have lunch at the Dairy Queen Braizzer

While he waited for his stage name to be painted on the Driver's side door of his Pacer

It is an unwriiten law there is a stage name for every stripper

He gets back his pacer and reads the name, "Perfect, The Big Dipper."

He goes to show his son, after finishing lunch at the Dairy Queen

Tomorrow, his son will become an adult turning 18

His son's name is Skipper

His son tells Conrad, "I want in on this gig, I can be called the Little Dipper."

So the Pacer is returned to label the passenger side door

Conrad and Skipper walk to the local Thrift Store

They will need some costumes for entertainment purposes only

Conrad tells Skipper, "We are doing this from the heart, for all of those females who are lonely."

Soon, they land their first gig, at an elderly ladies assited living home

They were all on a fixed income, so it was like Old Mother Hubbard who went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone

They were paid with grocery coupons, Big Dipper and Little Dipper both were tired

What a kick in the ass, all of the coupns were expired

They soon land their second gig at a Male Stripper Club called The Loft

They would be the second act behind David Hasslehoff

David introduces himself, and Conrad asks, "Aren't the one who pissed off my cousin Nina?"

"And she is so much more  meaner."

"And you are also the one, who after she dumped the frog, you wanted sloppy seconds with that pig?"

David replies back, "That's my past, this is my new gig."

David is getting ready to go on stage and tells Conrad, "Watch these moves Big Dipper."

They all three split the earnings, 35 dollars each for a night of being strippers

Conrad and Skipper both realize this stripper gig was a bad idea

They sell the Pacer as is and buy back their old Kia



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