Unusual Church in the Land of Valentines | By: Greg Miller | | Category: Short Story - Funny Bookmark and Share

Unusual Church in the Land of Valentines

© 2013



Once upon a time, numerous heart-shaped creatures lived in the Land of Valentines.
As far as the eye could see, a kalaideoscope of valentine-shaped houses decorated the countryside. Those homes’ residents were as colorful as the homes themselves. Red, brown, black, yellow, white and olive were among the various skin colors.
The Land of Valentine Church was located in the center of the community. The church’s groundskeeper always kept the property well groomed. The custodian kept the inside of the church looking beautiful.
On the outside of the church, a note was posted. “No food or drinks allowed inside the church. This means you!”
Pastor Waterfall Valentine kept a bottle of water on the pulpit while he was preaching. “I can preach better with a lubricated throat,” he chuckled.
One day the pastor announced, “For the most part, the ban on food and drinks inside the church will continue. But from now on, everyone who wants to bring a bottle of water may do so. Of course, the ban does not include baby food and bottles of milk for the babies.”
The congregation had a reputation for being very friendly. On a regular basis, folks from surrounding communities visited the church.
One Sunday, Pastor Valentine preached a sermon about love. We have to have food and water to survive,” he said. “Love also is necessity.”
The pastor spoke about several types of love. “There is the kind of love that parents have for their kids,” he observed. “Families should work very hard to build and maintain good relationships with each other.”
Friends should also value and love each other, he noted. “Jesus is my dearest friend, and He died on the Cross for me.”
Husbands and wives’ love for each other is very unique, Pastor Waterfall told his congregation. “It’s the same type of love that Christ has for the Church,” said the pastor, who observed the word love is overused.
One visitor spoke up about the sermon’s length. “Would you mind shortening your sermon just a little bit?,” he asked.
The pastor took a short pause and drank some of his water. “I really had to deliver the message God laid on my heart,” he said.
After the service, the church hosted a Feast of Celebration in the fellowship hall. Visitors were invited to the gathering.
The visitor apologized for speaking up during the service. The pastor accepted the apology.
“That’s quite all right, Young Man,” said Pastor Waterfall. “I did need to deliver the message God laid on my heart, but that message could possibly have been delivered with fewer words.”
“No problem, Pastor,” replied the visitor. “After all, you were talking about love. And when it comes to love, sometimes it takes longer to get the message across than it does at other times!”
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