Don't Do This To Your Disabled Adult Child
I am a the "true and natural" mother of a disabled adult child who was
raised by someone else because she was a force-created adoptive child.
I was told by the Commonwealth of Virginia that the adoptive parents
had experience raising a disabled children. This is because both of their
sons, Greg and Dan, were born were mild learning disablities. They
would have adequate funding to give my daughter, who they adopted in
1984, what she needed to grow up to be a highly efficient adult.
Well, nothing could be further from the truth. This is because once
they found out how disabled she was they immeidately screamed "wrongful
adoption" practices and voiced their regrets on adopting her.
Further more, they resenting having to pay out so much money on psychiatric
bills to help her with her mental health problems. They even resented more
the fact that Iowa State Vocational Rehab Services would not provide
her full coverage of services due to the fact that the adoptive
father made more than is allowed if one gets fully paid services
through the state vocational services.
Please, if you have an adult disabled child. Please don't do the following
to the adult child.
First of all, don't rush down to Social Security and apply for either
Social Security Disability or Social Security SSI payments under the
disability plan. By doing so, you are subjecting your child to a life
of poverty. It is very hard to live off a fixed income.
Rather than do that, please put so much money aside in a "special needs" trust
account for that child when she /he is a minor. This money is
tax-empted and it can go towards the adult child's rehabilitation
program in helping them to obtain vocational training and support
Next, please don't run down to the State Probate Court and file for
the guardianship of your adult disabled child's legal guardianship.
It may be limited to the power which you will have. However, it is a
parent's duty to make sure a child can take care of his/herself.
Many parents that do this bring on in their adult disabled child's life
as known as "dependent personality disorder".
This personality disorder brings on the signs that an adult child disabled
or not, can not make any of his or her own decisions regarding
his/her own life. They look to others to make those decisions for
them. This way, we are hurting our disabled children.
Parents of an adult disabled child needs to work with the child as an adult
to ensure that this adult child with a disability can take care of
his/her own basic needs. One of those needs is to manage his/her
It is important for parents to teach their disabled adult child how
to use public transportation, along with Greyhound, Airlines, and
Amtrak to get around safely and without the need to ask anyone to
get them back and forth where they need to go to.
Parents of an disabled child before the child becomes of age.
They need to start looking around for appropriate vocational rehab
services in which is able to best provide the adult child with what
skills they will need to take care of themselves and to live in-
dependently from family members.
Being disabled doesn't mean the child can not do anything. It just
means they are limited into what they can do. However, with the right
supportive services. This child will be able to live as near normal
life as an adult without disabilities.
All supportive services should be in place before the child reaches the age
of majority which in most states is 18 years of age.
Parents need to protect the civil rights of their adult disabled
My own child being raised by someone else and who did this to her.
It made me mad as heck. If the state had just left her dad and I
alone to raise her. She would be for the most part functional.
So I urge parents not to do what the adopters did to my daughter.
Afterall, the only reason they adopted her was to receive the adoption
subsidy payments for the state of Iowa which was in the amount of
$900.00 and as soon as those payments stopped they rushed her down
to Social Security and managed to get her on Social Security SSI for
My daughter now lives in poverty and lacks many of the life skills
she needs to become as functional adult in society today.
So please, don't do this to your child like the adopters did to mine.