JUST ANOTHER BUSY DAY
You wonder what it was that drove Hindleman to commit suicide and at such a time and in such a way and leaving a wife who needed him most especially as her mental illness had progressed further into darkness and he left no letter or not and never gave any hint when you saw him that day at the restaurant and he had his secretary with him that young plump woman with the glasses and tied back hair and he seemed quite all right talking as he did indulging in the food and drink without hesitation sitting there quite at ease with himself saying nothing about his wife at home no talk about her increasing mental problems no hint that he was going to jump off the roof of the tall office building where he had worked the last nine years and you try to remember back and see if there was something in the way he looked or maybe in something he had said or maybe in the way he had said it or in his body language but nothing comes to mind nothing stands out as being out of the ordinary and you wonder if he was fucking the secretary on the side after all his wife wasn’t into that side of things any more and maybe it had got too much of him and perhaps the secretary was all for it and maybe she enticed him into a relationship of the flesh and you try and push the imagery from your mind and try and give him the benefit of his good name try to keep out all thoughts of him and that plump woman actually making out in his office or at her place wherever that might be and even if he had been having it away with her you could never let his wife know could never permit her to find out such a thing not in her state of mind not with her being so fragile and all and besides what good would it do? Who would gain from that information? no one not the wife or the plump woman or Hindleman so you think it best to think no more about it but it is hard to close the door of your mind to such thoughts pushing their way through and into your mind like crowds at a shop sale and you visualize the plump bitch beneath Hindleman egging him on saying come on more more give me more and he possibly working his ass off trying to keep up with the young pump bitch and for a moment you sit and watch the scene playing out in your mind and you feel like some voyeur peeping through curtains at lovers making out and you want it to stop you want it not to be there want it all to go away and so you stand up and pace the room and pour yourself a drink and the plump woman lying naked on the red sofa turns her head and says what’s the matter Honey? You haven’t been yourself all day and you sip your drink and reply Nothing Baby just another busy fucked up day.